It Hurts
by Em5
Summary: COMPLETE Just a small bout of general angst. Cemetery ponderings and talks. Sad, sweet, hope you review :)


A/N: Hmm, just a general piece of angst (I seem to be good at that sort of stuff). Short, kinda sweet, hope you like it. Please, tell me if you do.  
Disclaimer: I can't stress enough that the characters, or the place, or anything in this is mine. Even the words aren't mine, they belong to this man called Mr. English ;) sorry, I'm tired.  
Distribution: sure, just tell me where it's going.  
Reviews: always, good and bad, but please, if it's bad, at least make it constructive. I have feelings people :)  
  
  
  
It Hurts  
  
  
Can you smell that? It smells like wild flowers, and dirt. Two completely different scents.   
  
One, sweet, beautiful. A scent you'd love to smell each day. And the other, well, the other only brought the stench of death along with it. It was possibly one of the worst scents in the world. At least, that was what Spike thought. He was in a cemetery, of course, but this time, it was for a different reason than to simply go home, or slay some demons. No, this time, he had a special purpose, he was visiting someone. And yes, that someone was actually dead, and not undead either, no, they were really dead, something which only made it worse for the Master Vampire, supposedly void of any feelings or emotions. Spike weaved through the masses of gravestones, heading towards a clearing where two lone graves sat. He reached his destination and sat down.   
  
Fighting back tears, he lifted two fingers to his lips, and then pressed it to the cool marble of the first headstone.  
  
  
Joyce Lianne Summers  
1952 - 2001  
Beloved mother, friend, and mentor  
May her light still shine on  
R.I.P  
  
  
A single tear escaped his eyes and he repeated the same action to the second headstone, his fingers lingering as he traced the words carved into the fine marble.  
  
  
Buffy Anne Summers  
1981 - 2001  
Beloved sister  
Devoted friend  
She saved the world  
A lot  
R.I.P  
  
  
More tears slid down and he placed a single red rose in front of each grave, and took away the ones put there yesterday. He did this every day, or every night, depending on how you saw it.  
  
He would come by, place a fresh rose on each grave, and sit there, sometimes he would talk, tell the two resting souls how his day had been, what he did, what the others had done, that sort of thing. And then some days, he would just sit there, not saying a word; just look at the headstones and remember, and when he did that, the only thing he thought off was them, no one else. It was those days that he felt truly lonely.   
  
"Spike?"  
  
A single small voice stirred him from his thoughts. He looked up into the dark brown eyes of the only thing that was keeping him from killing himself these days. The eyes that stared back at him were full of concern. Concern for him. But behind that, he saw undeniable sadness at being in this place, even though she tried to hide it.  
  
"Nibblet? What are you doing here? At this time at night? Does Red and Glinda know you're here?"  
  
"Wow, what's with the twenty questions?"  
  
She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.  
  
"Nibblet...." The vampire warned, and the girl sighed.  
  
"I'm here, because I wanted to visit - visit them. Why now? Because it was the only time I could, plus I kind of wanted to see you too. As for if Will and Tara know, I left a note. Does that answer everything."  
  
Spike looked her up and down, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips.  
  
"I think so."  
  
"Good, so now it's my turn. What are you doing here? Why? And is it you that leaves that single red rose every day?"  
  
A sad smile flickered upon his face then disappeared, so quickly that Dawn questioned whether it was there at all.  
  
"I, like you, was visiting the graves. Why, because I loved- love, Buffy. And, I liked your mum, she was nice to me. Yes, that is me leaving the flowers, sorry if it upsets you, but, I won't stop. Leaving them, I mean."  
  
He turned his head then, looking away from her and towards the headstones. Dawn, satisfied by the answer, turned her head too, and for a long while, neither said anything, both too caught up in own their grief to talk.   
  
Finally, Dawn broke the silence.  
  
"It hurts, you know?"  
  
Spike nodded somberly.  
  
"Yeah, pet, I know."  
  
"I mean, how many people am I going to have to bury in my life?"  
  
The vampire closed his eyes and cast his head down.  
  
"Oh, pet. One is enough."  
  
Dawn caught the look, and her eyes filled with tears at the sight, fuelled with her grief, and being in this place.  
  
"How-how many people have you buried?"  
  
Upon seeing the stricken look on his face, she immediately felt guilty for bringing up old memories.  
  
"Oh, God, I'm so sorry Spike. Don't worry, just forget I said that."  
  
Through the pain, the vampire managed a small smile for the girl.  
  
"S'ok Nibblet. It's the past, right? Buffy makes it seven."  
  
He paused, and a silent question from Dawn made him continue.  
  
"My dad died when I was six, he was the first, my sister a week later."  
  
A gasp sounded from Dawn's lips, although she had not meant to.  
  
"I know what you're thinking, so sudden. In truth, it really was. My dad was forty-three years old when he was murdered. See, he was trying to protect my sister, Evelyn, her name was. She was the one that died a week later. She was accused of stealing, and of course the punishment back then for that sort of thing was death. None of us wanted that, understandably, but none more than my dad. He fought tooth and nail to stop the punishment taking place, so they killed him too. What's more that did it in front of my family and myself."  
  
"That's horrible." Dawn was generally sad for the man in front of her, despite what he was. He seemed to sense her feelings though, because he looked up at her a minute later, forcing a smile on his face.  
  
"Don't feel sorry for me 'Bit. Got thick skin, yeah?"  
  
He punched his chest, as if to prove his point.   
  
"That was a long time ago anyway. Long, long time ago. I got over it, eventually."  
  
Which led to the question Dawn had been wanting to ask, but feared to.  
  
"How did you....I mean, how long did it take? To get over it?"  
  
He remained silent, not answering her question. But Dawn found that his lack of words said all that needed to be said. He was lying before, he had never really gotten over the death of his family.  
  
To be fair, Dawn never really expected him too. How could you, really?  
  
If he was anything like Dawn, she supposed that everywhere he looked, something, somehow reminded him of them.   
  
It's funny, really, how a person could leave such a mark, even in death. Dawn discovered that virtually everything reminded her of her sister and mother. Even something as common as the cinema. Funny, but not at all unexpected.  
  
Again, silence washed over them, covering them like a thick blanket.  
  
"It's late, luv, you might want to head home."  
  
The vampire said, never taking his gaze away from the headstones.  
  
"W-why should I? Everyone knows where I am, and I'm safe, with you."  
  
A smile was on his face then, but gone as quick as it came.  
  
"It's dangerous, even with Big Bad around to protect you. All nasty things are out this time o' night, just waitin' to get a taste of you."  
  
Dawn raised an eyebrow at the bleached blonde, not believing him for a second. He would never let anything harm her in any way. Dawn knew deep down that he would die to protect her, she had no doubt she was right. But, he seemed so sad, maybe he just wanted to be alone.  
  
So, instead of the protests that she felt she was bursting to voice, she instead gave a short nod, surprised at herself to actually be letting someone tell her what to do. She herself even had to admit she was absolutely adamant about making decisions for herself.  
  
"Need me to walk you home?" Spike offered, finally tearing his eyes away from the marble slabs, his face a mask of deep sorrow and pain.  
  
"Nah, I know my way home. I'll be fine."  
  
Dawn knew straight away when he just accepted her answer that there was indeed something seriously wrong with him, but again, despite what her mind was screaming at her to do, she didn't comment, instead giving another nod of her head, and standing up.  
  
Giving him a silent hug, she slowly drifted towards the gates of the cemetery, giving a last glance at her mother and sister, and especially at the vampire sitting there all alone. She only wished he would be okay, there by himself, his guard totally down. As Dawn exited the cemetery, she cast another, shorter glance back behind her, and was surprised that no one was there. Spike had gone.  
  
Curiousity getting the better of her, Dawn turned around and walked back over to where she and the bleached blonde vampire had been just moments before. When she got closer, she noticed what looked to be ashes on the ground. Had there been a fight, she hadn't heard anything.  
  
Realisation dawned on the teenager then, and she saw a single object lying in the exact spot where her friend had been. Drawing her knees up to her chin, Dawn cried, loud sobs wracking her body for what seemed like hours, as she stared somewhat dazedly at the object once more, an object she had seen many times before, but had never held. An object that brought death to the foulest creatures on the earth.  
  
A weapon that brought death to her best friend.  
  
A stake.  
  
  
A/N: I know, I know, really stupid ending, but as I said before, I'm tired, sorry about it being about Dawn in the end, didn't mean for that to happen.  
Please review, I'll love you forever :) 


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